Letting Go of Desired Outcomes

This blog discusses the process of how meditation helped me understand when I had let go of a desired outcome within a conflict. I found it genuinely fascinating and helpful in my healing process.

Healing takes time.

Healing takes time.

Healing takes time.

Can you relate to wanting things you feel are important to go the way you feel they should go? This is a story worth sharing that involves me being stuck in overwhelm, anger, and sadness over a family of origin relationship in which I was a care provider. I was in conflict with this important relationship due to the choices the person was making. I wanted a particular outcome that I felt was in the best interest of everyone. My mentor saw my predicament and gave me this beautiful meditation to help me sort through my challenges and attachments. After all, I had worked hard over the years to help this person I so deeply loved and I thought I knew what was best.

This meditation involves the placement of attention on the breath and the images of water and waterfall. You call to mind a conflict or challenge and imagine your breath carries it from a place within you to your hands while you are sitting next to the upper bank of a river. You allow the object to be dropped into the river. “LET GO!” As you focus on breath, you visualize the current taking your obstacle down the stream and over the edge of the waterfall paying attention to the weight, shape, and size of the obstacle. You also pay attention to where you feel this release in your body. Stay curious!

Multiple times a week, I practiced this meditation and had the same response. The shape of the object was big, the weight was heavy making a big splash when I imagined dropping it in the river. 

I was still attached to the outcome that I hoped for and this weighed heavily on me.  This lingered for months.

Magically, one day in the middle of this meditation, after many experiences with the same feeling/observation...something shifted. I went to drop this same issue in the water and a different shape, size, and weight emerged. I could not have written the object that emerged more beautifully. It was in fact the complete opposite of heavy and big while making no splash at all when I dropped it in the water. The object was in the shape of a paper ship. I watched it float so quietly down the stream. My body immediately felt lighter and I remember laughing. 

My mentor explained that I now was at peace with the situation and was letting go of desired outcome. He even said, “healed.” OOOOOH, how I loved that insight and direction.

Meditation takes us into our “knowing” where all answers await. While there are many different types of meditation, I use the Viniyoga system of placing meditation at the end of my practice after working with breath-centric postures and pranayama to bring my system into balance first. I find that if I skip this process, I have a much harder time paying attention as my system is still out of balance.

I will end with this saying by my teacher, Gary Kraftsow who says, “With correct understanding, things become lighter not heavier.”

And so, the paper ship goes merrily, merrily down the stream.


Life Lessons in Salsa Dancing

Hello Friends!

Recently, I got invited to go salsa dancing at a local coffee shop in Austin with a friend. Having learned the basic steps of salsa a few years ago, I felt confident to step into this opportunity and go have fun. 

When I walked into the salsa atmosphere, there were definitely some spicy movements, and the air was thick with humidity from body heat and energy. I started dancing and made it my goal to dance with people of all ages that asked me to dance. I was also happy to ask others to dance along. 

In Salsa, the man leads, and the female is aligning with his steps. It’s important to know the basic steps too so you can stay in rhythm. I danced with several people, and I will categorize the 3 types of dancers that I experienced:

1.     The Rigid Leader = One of my dance partners kept stopping my movement to tell me how to do it correctly. It caused me to leave my body and get into my head. I looked down at our feet. I felt disconnected. I also struggled to hear him above the loud music. We found the steps, but I felt unsure and I perceived he was uncomfortable. 

2.     The Experienced Leader = I found a willing partner that jumped at the chance to dance together. He was excellent at the basic steps and a few turns and never missed a beat. We felt close, we smiled, and I didn’t have to look at my feet because our hips moved perfectly to the beat. He felt my confidence and led me through a few turns. We laughed when everything didn’t go as planned. We looked good dancing together. 

3.     The Freestyle Leader = This partner knew the basic steps and knew how to allow me to follow him. There were no corrections but close connection. He knew to let me mess up and then, just when I thought we were in perfect sync with our steps, he would let go and do movements that were nontraditional. He was freestyling. I let go, mirrored his movements, and found my own creative way. I asked, “What was that?” He told me that he could tell I needed to embrace freestyling within the dance. He read me well. 

 

This is a wonderful analogy for how I work as a yoga therapist and teacher. It’s important to know your stuff and be well trained in understanding the technology that is yoga. This takes years. And then, there’s freestyling where you adapt to what the person needs when working with mind/body/energy. This is the artistry of being an effective yoga therapist…

  • you are able to hold their story:

  • allow them the safety of expressing their story

  • help them rewrite their story

  • and gradually lead them toward a sense of playfulness and joy

    This is my goal in working with others and in how I want to live life. I want to become “Joy and Playfulness” itself.

As I looked around the dance space, I observed all types of dancers. But the ones that appeared to be having the most fun were the couples who had embraced freestyling. They had to start somewhere and become educated around the basic steps and practice, practice, practice. Gradually, confidence built and somewhere along the way, salsa dancing inhabited them. They were free to play and express themselves. They became the dance itself.

It’s like that in yoga too. We AWAKEN FROM THE INSIDE OUT. Working with the postures and breath becomes a form of expression. We are telling a story from the inside out.

  1. The first step is to learn =there is no timeline

  2. Practice, practice, practice

  3. Do the activity with joy and playfulness




The Duet of One: Meditation

The Duet of One:  Meditation

Learning to merge is an art form in itself. The process is one that takes practice through the art and science of meditation. Meditation is a methodology of repatterning the mind to create new neural pathways that benefit our overall health and wellness. Overtime, the meditation process helps us to understand ourselves more clearly and make different choices based on an increasingly clearer perception. Our ability to be present and fully alive increases. We merge into the experiences of our lives.

Summertime: What We Learn from "Lazy"!

Summertime:  What We Learn from "Lazy"!

This blog discusses how embracing the season of summer holds the value of slowing down in teaching us how to refill our cup. We will take a look at the quality of lazy and how it supports us as well as when lazy takes on the qualities that aren’t in our favor. The Yoga Sutras give us a word describing lazy when it becomes one of the obstacles of developing a calm and clear mind.

Such a Good Vibration

Such a Good Vibration

Chanting within a yoga and meditation practice can shift your energetic vibration. Personally, I use chanting both during the breath-centric movement portion of my practice and at the end of my practice. The effect for me is one of increasing attention, slowing down my tendencies to hurry, balancing my emotions, increasing my presence and yes…building my energetic vibration. True yoga always works from the inside out.

Frozen: The states of water; states of mind

Frozen:  The states of water; states of mind

TEXAS had a doozy of a week enduring the Polar Vortex snow/ice storms. Now, I am watching the icicles that cling to the roof’s outline begin to drip…a sure sign that the temperature is improving. THE MELT IS ON! This reminded me of the Sutra teachings of the 3 states of mind. Just like water, the mind can take on different states and qualities. We know that water can be in the states of liquid, frozen, or gas but it is all water. Boy, how we know it…TEXAS!

New Year, Old Reminders: Samyoga vs. Viyoga

New Year, Old Reminders:  Samyoga vs. Viyoga

We can’t always change our situation but we can change the way we look at it. That’s powerful, friends!! 2020 has been an unprecedented time in which we have ALL been challenged on many levels. Mindfulness is needed in practicing safe interactions for our health without a doubt! Can we still move toward that which serves us? I say YES! Think of Samyoga has any action that moves you toward nourishment like the water/sunlight for the grass. Viyoga on the other hand is an action that keeps you “dormant”.

I Give You My Word

I Give You My Word

Last year, I explored a different approach…one that made a HUGE difference in how I felt all year long. I came up with a WORD that sparked inspiration for me on many different levels. This word informed choices I made from the physical aspects of my life to relationships that I valued. I learned what I needed to add into my life which naturally crowded out what wasn’t serving me.

Groundhog Day: Breaking Free

Groundhog Day:  Breaking Free

This blog discusses the premise of the cult classic movie, “Groundhog Day” as a story of what happens when we break free from the ruts or patterns that we get stuck in. What if you have to live the same day over and over again until you learned slowly step by step that changing your mindset and thus your behavior could lead to happiness?

These are the teachings of yoga.

The Four Vessels:

The Four Vessels:

Halloween has come and gone. The costumes have been celebrated and now put away in the closet. We are in the middle of chaos from the pandemic to natural disasters to a country divided in fundamental beliefs. Establishing and maintaining a yoga and meditation practice is such an important part in helping us navigate these unprecedented times. It’s my practice that keeps me grounded in the middle of chaos. I think…it’s a great time to look at the story of the 4 vessels.

Shifting Perspective

Shifting Perspective

Perspective shifting is worth learning because…it benefits you. When we get stuck in unexamined ways of thinking or cognitive biased, it can BLOCK our ability to experience a sense of openness. Stuck is the word to pay attention to here. Being stuck means no forward progress. Without forward movement, we are no longer in a process of yoga.

Connection: A Love Story

Connection:  A Love Story

This blog discusses the Netflix documentary, “My Octopus Teacher” and the power of connection. Sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, someone or something can come into our lives and help us remember that we are worthy of love! We can learn about ourselves through the power of connection and awaken and deepen the love for ourselves. This is a must see documentary!

Resiliency: From Surviving to Thriving

Resiliency:  From Surviving to Thriving

This blog discusses The Survivor Tree as an example of surviving under unimaginable circumstances and the power of love, resiliency, and strength in moving from simple surviving to thriving. How can we learn to become more resilient? Can yoga teach us not only recovery but also self-discovery? This is not the picture of the Survivor Tree on this page. Please go to the included link to see it.