This blog discusses my recent trip to Mexico in which I faced a long time fear of heights by zip lining. I tie in yoga philosophy concepts and how yoga is an art and science of becoming increasingly free.
I will start with a bit of yoga philosophy. In the Yoga Sutras, we learn about something called antarayah/s or blocks/obstacles to one’s mental capacity. Think of an antarayah as the end of a movement. In other words, you get stuck.
The teachings in I, 30 list these obstacles such as samsaya or doubt (see blog “What’s a Squirrel to Do?” https://www.loopoflight.com/blog/2020/12/1/whats-a-squirrel-to-do-samasy) that lead to instability of the mind which in turn leads to suffering. Both my teacher and mentor teach around this sutra that when you are suffering, there’s an obstacle in your mind. Of course, if our bodies aren’t functioning well, then our mind gets agitated. And when that happens…Hello STUCKNESS!
Here’s my story about how I let go of a an antarayah/s and experienced freeness! Yes, that’s me in this picture.
First let’s go back to my childhood and dreaming…I would often have dreams that I could fly! But somewhere along the way, this dream became less frequent until it was a rare type of dream. In my personal life, I became afraid of heights as an adult and avoided them as much as possible. Looking out at the edge of the Grand Canyon….sure, but from a safe distance! Going up to the Empire State Building in New York for the enormous view…no thank you! I’ll view it from a post card or picture.
Then, last week I traveled to Playa del Carmen in Mexico to meet up with my sister for our birthday celebrations. She had recently become certified as a scuba diver and was planning her first reef dive. Her excitement energetically spread to me and the next thing I knew, I was saying “YES” to a zip lining adventure in the jungle. What?! In different travels such as Hawaii, I have had opportunities to go zip lining with friends and family AND I have always had the same answer…”No!”
Friends, I knew I had one day to get ready for the adventure, so I became curious about my biggest obstacle around heights.
The obstacle: Samsaya = doubt
When I said “Yes” it was almost immediately. I didn’t give myself a chance to overthink it or create “Analysis/Paralysis”. I told myself that I could do this. My sister and I have a deep connection and I feel safe with her. She was going to zip line with me and I wanted to experience this together. I envisioned flying over the tree canopies versus looking down. My affirmation was, “Flying versus falling” and I knew that this was true. I let go of the antarayah of doubt.
When it was time to harness up, I accepted help from the guide. Well friends, I had no idea that our first activity was rappelling down a 25-30 foot drop into a fresh water cenote. Oh My!! I was ready to say, “I will sit this one out.” But when I came up to top of the well, there was a lady in a different group beginning her rappelling experience. She was literally frozen in fear even though she was safely harnessed and staff was around. I looked down to the clear turquoise water at the bottom of the drop. I let go of fear. I watched her slowly make it to the bottom physically safe. It was her mind that was blocking her from moving. Again, I said, “Yep. I can.”
I will admit that climbing to that first platform to begin our first zip line gave me a moment of pause. My nervous system moved into the sympathetic response of fight, flight, and light freeze. I felt my legs begin to tighten. Then, I looked out to the beauty of witnessing being above the jungle’s landscape. I slowed down my breathing. I became present. I repeated my affirmation, “Flying not falling.”
The guide hooked up my harness pieces to the cables. He asked if I was ready. I said, “Yes!”. Then all I had to do was sit back and lift my legs traveling backwards for the first zip line. Talk about trust. There was no hesitation. I even stuck my tongue out at my sister in that first moment I hit air. We were both grinning and laughing. I was experiencing a new level of being FREE.
After all, this is what the teachings of yoga point to—how we can steady our mind and let go of the stories that keep us small. The antarayah/s are:
**these Sanskrit words have accent marks that I have not included
vyadhi—disease
styana —dullness, apathy, lack of interest
samsaya —doubt, indecision
pramada —negligence; inattentiveness, carelessness
alasya —laziness, lethargy (not to shine)
avirati —lack of self control (over indulgence)
bhrantidarsana—misconception, delusion, false visions (my view of myself is not correct)
alabdha-bhumikatva—lack of concentration to achieve higher consciousness (I have heard this before…”I can’t meditate.”)
anavasthitatvani—instability, inability to retain what is achieved (how you feel, when you lose what you had)
As the wind rushed across my skin and hair, I felt happy and free. When I landed safely on that first platform with 3 more ziplines to experience, I thought “Why was I ever afraid to zip line?” This is yoga in motion, my friends. There was no “stuckness” in the experience. The zip line activity was one continual movement that took me to and from each point. Doesn’t yoga do that on many levels?!
I didn’t have anything to prove. I only had to release doubt and a bit of misperception about myself that I didn’t have the capacity to experience this adventure. So glad I did. One last word…
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
**Using the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (as interpreted by Mukunda Stiles) and of course, many years of studying with Gary Kraftsow and Chase Bossart